Little girls spend their lives dreaming about their wedding day, how they’ll look, what the day will be like. Not me though. I dreamt of happiness, feeling content, safe, and wondering whether there was someone out there for me who would know me better than I knew myself. Who’d be able to finish my sentences for me and know what type of coffee to order me without asking. I dreamt of the little things. I hoped they were out there but I’m not sure I believed in it, not really. Fairytales only happen in the movies right? That scene in pretty woman where Richard Gere climbs up the ladder and rescues Julia Roberts from her apartment with a bunch of red roses and whisks her off into a life so much better than she could have ever imagined. That always seemed so unrealistic to me. Or when Patrick Swayze tells Baby that nobody puts her in the corner. I’d get lost in moments like that, they were my favourite. The romance, the love, the happily ever afters.
When Tazmyn asked me to marry her, it was a surprise, it was a shock, it was amazing. It was everything all at once. We always knew we would get married just the two of us, that’s just how we wanted it. We had an engagement party shortly after we got engaged though, in the most gorgeous of pubs, we invited everybody that mattered to us. It was lovely. It was exactly how we wanted it to be. As for getting married, like the actual date and the organisation, the finer details.. we didn’t plan much. At first we wanted an autumn wedding. I saw Chelsea Houska from teen moms wedding photos and I was obsessed. I made mood boards and collages of how I wanted our day to look like hers, I loved the colour schemes, her hair, the lace on her dress. Everything. But then we realised that it really didn’t matter what month of the year we got married in, or whether my hair was plum or auburn, just as long as we were married. That’s all that really mattered. We didn’t tell anyone once we had picked an actual date. Keeping it a secret was super hard, especially from my mum. She did my wedding flowers and she didn’t even know. I think I kind of like that though. We booked the registry office, we gave notice of our intent to marry, we wrote our own vows, that was definitely my most favourite part of the day. I chose my dress, £65 from ASOS but it was pretty and exactly what I wanted. Lacey at the top, the sleeves were fitted and feminine and the lower half was floral and pastels and floaty. It wasn’t a wedding dress but it made me feel like a princess wearing it. I booked a make up artist to do my hair and make up. She was the dream and she made me look exactly how I did in my mind. I’ll never not love my eyebrows in any of our wedding photos. I’ll never forget when Tazmyn saw me on the day of our wedding, she said I looked like Kim Kardashian! Only Tazmyn would ever say that! We had two witnesses. We picked a photographer who was building his portfolio and agreed to charge us peanuts for the most stunning photos. I look at every single one with a heart so full of love. He captured our vision and made us feel so comfortable. We ate Italian food the evening of our wedding, we drank Prosecco and I slept in my make up. It was the best day of both of our lives and I can hardly believe it was six months ago already! We decided to tell everyone about our marriage all at the same time. Which, in hindsight may or may not have been the right thing to do. We announced the news to everyone whilst we were quite literally on the motorway on our way to Brighton for our minimoon 24 hours after we had officially got married. We got mixed reactions. The people that mattered the most to us were happy for us though. We spent 3 amazing days in Brighton by the sea, the place where I fell in love with Tazmyn, but now we were back as a married couple. We took photos, we explored, we ate and we laughed. It was perfect to us and if we had to do it again? We wouldn’t have changed a thing.
In the six months since becoming a wife, I feel like we have grown in love more. That probably sounds silly to those who aren’t married. Like how can you be more in love after getting married? I’m not entirely sure myself, but I know that marriage is the start of an empty box, you must put something in before you can take anything out. It requires work, effort, love, patience and respect. There is no love in marriage, love is in people and people put love into marriage. We have become more of a team than ever before. Tazmyn often tells me we are now “one” kinda like two people submerged into one being. We know each other inside out and we are each other’s biggest fans. I am the anchor that supports her dreams and determination & she is the safety that holds me each time I reach for another star. Together, we are a team, we are best friends and we will always be better together.
I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing letters addressed to me as Mrs Chalke, or people saying my name when we are out somewhere. I love the way it sounds. I love being her wife and I love our wonderful life we have built together. There is not a day that goes by where I would trade what we have for anything or that I am not grateful for all that we have together. We’re the lucky ones.
What advice would I give to anybody else who’s engaged and about to get married/planning their wedding?
I can’t stress this enough, but keeping your wedding day centred to you and your partner is so important. Don’t worry about anyone else, family members, friends, what they want for you or what they expect from you. Don’t aim to please everyone else and lose sight of what getting married is all about, which ultimately will always be you. We did things our way and we have no regrets. Since we got married we have had so many messages from people telling us they wished they’d followed their hearts and done it how we did it, because our day was entirely just about us and what we wanted. Whether you have 200 people at your wedding or 2, as long as you call the shots and make it about you and everything you love, ensuring you enjoy every moment of your special day, you can’t go wrong.
Where will we be in 6 months time?
If the second half of the first year of marriage is anywhere as near as crazy busy as the first, then I know we’re in for an action packed 6 months! We have a two week holiday booked to Turkey in June which we both can’t wait for. Individually we have grown so much but together we have grown even more in love and I’m excited for the next 6 months and all that’s yet to come!
& to you, who made me see things I could never see alone… This has been the best 6 months of my entire life. Look where we are now, somewhere beyond anything that I ever dreamed of. Everyday you never fail to make me laugh uncontrollably until my tummy hurts, you finish my sentences and yes, you know what coffee to order me off by heart. You’ve changed my life, I love you in a way that goes deeper than anything I’ll ever be able to really explain to you, so I hope that my actions show you, every second of every day that I spend with you. I promise to give you a lifetime full of adventures, and I can’t wait for all the memories we are still yet to make together 💗
Your wife xx